It’s so funny how our children, when they are young, are so quick to make their opinions known about sappy stuff! When my husband and I would feel inspired to dance in our living room, our sons would cover their faces, laugh, fall on the floor, hold their heads as if they would explode, roll their eyes, or pretend they were throwing up; typical little boy reactions to romance. It was pretty hysterical to watch and so, we danced on a regular basis, just to get the dramatic and funny reactions that never failed to make us chuckle...
What is interesting is that, despite all the drama and feigned disgust of their catching us in a loving moment, those were exactly the things that they would probably say gave them security. Seeing that Mom and Dad were still in love, dancing in each others' arms, helped them rest assured, knowing that their parents were in it for the long haul. What a comforting thing.
Unfortunately, that is what so many children are missing in their lives these days…the reassurance that the loving family relationships are intact and will continue to be there on into their adult lives…the security of knowing that their house is a home full of peace and love. That doesn’t mean there were never any rough times, or that there were never any misunderstandings, hurt feelings or miscommunications…That didn’t guarantee no slammed doors or disrespect. Those things happen. However, it is when the overall environment is one of trust, forgiveness, communication, and unconditional love that children feel they can relax and know that even when storms come, they will pass!
It is so important for our children’s growth to see their parents in all the emotional, relational circumstances: working things out, hashing out the disagreements, coming to resolutions, bending and negotiating, agreeing in some cases to disagree, and even blowing up at each other (although never abusively) but then making up with an embrace. All of these interactions teach our children that we’re not necessarily going to see eye to eye on every issue, but we’re all human…we get under each other’s skin and do things that annoy and frustrate, even anger each other. That’s all normal and to be expected in healthy relationships.
The critical part is their understanding that it’s not the end of the world. That with each argument, there will be communication and reconciliation. That things can get downright HOT, but that doesn’t mean the destruction of a relationship and the end of a promise. It doesn’t signal the crash of a covenant and the commitment that went along with it.
In our throw away society, there is too much that already gets tossed when things aren’t “perfect”. Too many “newer” and “better” models are picked up in exchange for the older, more frustrating, out-of-date versions. I just turned in my very old flip-up phone for a new Smartphone. The other still worked well, but I needed more flexibility and applications with my writing so, I very reluctantly turned in the old version for a new one. The old one was comfortable, and I had learned all the quirks and glitches in the years we'd "been together". I felt like a traitor as I handed it over to the salesgirl.
Don’t let this happen to your spouse! Remember the things that made you fall in love in the first place and give the gift of security to your children! Dance…or sing…hold hands…or hug...play "footsie" under the kitchen table. Somehow let them know that your vows “’Til death do us part!” were for real and will last! Assure them that you are still in love, no matter how much it embarrasses them! I have always felt blessed in my marriage and for some of you reading this, you may feel like it's all a fairy tale. But I would hope that if you start to implement some of these tips, you may be blessed beyond your wildest dreams with renewed relationships and rekindled love. Try it!
Please leave a comment if you enjoyed this post! And even if you believe this to be a fairy tale, I'd love to hear your thoughts! Thanks, as always for visiting!