"If Mom says 'No!', ask Grandma!"

I am sure there are many of you out there that will totally relate with what I’m going to write about in this post today. Ever since I became a grandmother, I am in love with my role!  The only frustration I have is how far away I am from our two (so far) absolutely adorable little grandsons.  (We don’t know how to do pink…we had three sons and now have two grandsons…still holding out for that baby girl)!   At this point in our lives, we cannot imagine anything more delightful, enjoyable, and absolutely engaging than being grandparents!

We have all heard the saying by Lois Wyse - “If I had known how much fun it would be to have grandchildren, I would have had them first!” So much joy is poured into your life when you can hold your own son or daughter’s child in your arms and speak into their life. It is interesting to realize how different (and fun) it is when the responsibility of raising them well is not on your shoulders!  The stress of parenting does not trickle down to the next generation (unless of course you are raising your grandchildren).  Consequently, you can take liberties in spoiling them (hence : “If Mom says ‘No!’, ask Grandma!) and therein lies the magic of these beautiful relationships!

I remember when I was in middle/high school, my Nana lived in an apartment complex “kind of” on my way home from school.  It was a little out of the way, but definitely worth the extra mile since popping in on her meant a ginger ale/ vanilla ice cream float which she always had the makings for “just in case”!  I can still smell the aroma of the pastries she baked (turnovers filled with different jams) which she would send home with me after our visit. I can picture the layout of her apartment as if I just visited yesterday, instead of decades ago. Each nicknack had its place, her slippers were tucked under the left side of her bed in the exact location every time I peeked on my way to the bathroom, and she always used Dove soap. It’s funny…what you remember. It has been proven that scents make the strongest memories!

Those visits were always relaxed, unguarded and lovingly anticipated by both of us. There was never any guilt for when I couldn’t come, but much appreciation for when I took the time, and I knew her door was always open. She always wanted to know how my day was, what I was up to, who I was dating, and  whether or not I liked the ice cream float she made me? There were never any questions about my grades, no opinions about the boys I was dating, what I was wearing that day or the way I was spending my time.  However, I always wished to make her proud and never wanted to see disappointment written on her face about my life choices.

Now that I am a grandmother, I want to be able to have the kind of relationship with my sons and daughters-in-law that is rich and welcoming.  I want to nurture my relationships with our grandchildren in such a way that there is no doubt in their hearts and minds that I love them dearly and want to spend time with them whenever I can (even if it’s on the floor and I can’t get back up on my feet without help!) I hope that I can invest in them in such a way that I am always welcome to their home and into their world to relish the chance to pour my love into their lives.

Never would I want them to feel that they are the ones who always have to initiate time spent together whether it’s enjoying a movie, a lunch out, a day at the park, a walk in the sunshine, a good story, or a great concert or play…I want to make it known that their activities are important to me and I will always want to know where and when I should show up!  If I have stepped up to the plate, and taken my role as a loving grandmother seriously, then those many wonderful, precious opportunities will come naturally and frequently my way, without a moment of hesitation.  

What are your hopes and dreams about becoming a grandparent?  How do you see yourself  being involved with your marvelous grandchildren? Are you taking steps now to ensure the relationships are nurtured and welcoming with your children as they mature and start lives on their own? Leave a comment and express what you value most in your family relationships?

*Please consider a copy of MOMMY MEMOIRS for a mom or grandma you know and love! Here's the link on Amazon:  amzn.to/1aajgku ...It is coming out as an audio book on May 1st, just in time for Mother's Day!

Happy Spring WNY! At least there are blue skies and sunshine, even with snow still on the ground…