Do we truly understand what we are saying?

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I’m so excited~ we are headed soon to Ann Arbor, Michigan for the wedding of one of our nephews.  It will be beautiful, no doubt!  Isn’t every wedding amazing?  I’ll never forget the Christmas wedding I attended as a child~ candles in every church window, holly on the pews, and bridesmaids in red gowns carrying white fur muffs instead of bouquets.  It is still in my memory like it happened yesterday. Not because of the promise and covenant spoken by the couple, but because of the pomp and circumstance that I witnessed as a young girl, dreaming of my own special day!

We women always look forward to our wedding days with overwhelming anticipation.  We dream of every little detail and imagine how beautiful we will look in our wedding gowns.  We create visions in our minds of the church pews bedecked with white bows,  our flower girls and ring bearers preceeding us down the aisle, adorable  as they grab everyone’s attention with their cuteness. We mull over music to process in on, and recess out with, and soloists to sing beautifully as we light our unity candle.   We wonder what colors to choose, what centerpieces to put on the tables, and what DJ and caterer to hire as we plan the perfect wedding in our minds…one which we have dreamed about for what seems like centuries!

All of the preparations…all of the money! All of the time that goes into the planning, and it is over, in most cases, in all of about twenty minutes!  Moreover, more and more people these days, wait and show up to party at the reception, never having attended the wedding nor witnessed the vows! In my opinion, that’s just not right!

I have played for so many weddings over the years, and it never ceases to amaze me how the most important part of the wedding is so easily glossed over on that momentous day! We say our vows before our adoring friends and families (who DO show up for the ceremony, not just the reception!)  yet, do we really think about what we are saying? Some ministers don’t even speak to the couple during their sermon about the gravity of the vows they are taking at this point in their relationship!

Often we are quite young, in the grand scheme of things, when we make our wedding vows.  I know I was~ I married at the age of 22,  just out of college!  In retrospect, most of us would have to admit that we are also very naive. The words we spoke have more weight and significance than we realized on that special occasion…but it was all about the pomp, circumstance and dream that day. Then when the honeymoon is over, reality strikes and we understand that the rest is the hard part.  However, it is also what makes it all so worth it in the long haul!

Remember the phrase: “..til death do us part?” None of us said, “…til something better comes along”, “til I become bored with my circumstances”, “until the kids have graduated from high school” or “til we grow apart!” And we certainly didn’t say, “til kids do us part!” Our culture has made it too easy to forget the words of covenant we spoke on our wedding day!  What will you do in 2014 to make sure this doesn't happen to you?

Part 2 tomorrow…until then!

Ann Van De Water ~ Author, MOMMY MEMOIRS ~ A Hilarious and Heartwarming Look at the Trials and Triumphs of Being a Mom

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