By Lori Clapper, founder, WonderfullyWOVEN
My name is Lori. And I am a classic first-born people-pleaser.
I don’t like it. My greatest highs and deepest lows in life have been driven by it.
The craving for approval led to a very unhealthy relationship with my career. Too often I selfishly acted like a bad day at work constituted a bad life.
As hard as my husband tried to support and encourage me, my self-doubt whispered that I didn’t deserve it, and I kept him at arm’s length. Our relationship suffered greatly.
For me, age and experience has helped temper it. But as hard as I pray about it and make progress, it will always be a part of who I am.
I know I’m not alone. Many of us live in fear that we just won’t measure up or will look dumb. At times our self-worth crumbles when we look in the mirror and don’t look like the photo shopped images that bombard us everywhere we go. Fighting the tendency, as a woman, to compare yourself to others fuels negative self-talk — heightening the need for approval even more. It‘s a vicious cycle.
And it’s exhausting.
The energy used up with worry and self-doubt takes away from the most important things in life. Can you join me to make this year the time we soar to new heights, with God’s power, to overcome our insecurities? Here’s how you can:
1. Don’t throw away your confidence so easily. When you feel yourself pushing your confidence aside, immediately ask God to help you throw away your insecurities, instead. (The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What can man do to me? Hebrews 13:6, NIV)
2. Stop saying “I can’t do that:” When you feel God calling you to do something, claim His promises that He has equipped you and given you everything you need in Christ Jesus. (By His divine power, God has given us everything we need for living a godly life. We have received all of this by coming to know him, the one who called us to himself by means of his marvelous glory and excellence. 2 Peter 1:3 NLT)
3. Prioritize Your Life: God needs the #1 spot. When we commit to that, then we can trust Him to help everything else – marriage/family, job, personal time, self-care, church activities, etc. — fall into place. (If anyone comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters —yes, even their own life — such a person cannot be my disciple. And whoever does not carry their cross and follow me cannot be my disciple. Luke 14:26,27 NIV)
4. Remind yourself that you do have what it takes: God’s word reminds us that we are more than conquerors, and even though the world will give us trouble, we can take heart because He has overcome the world. (John 16:33, Romans 8:37)
5. Be uniquely “You:” The feelings of self-doubt are famous for making us wish to be someone other than who we are. We want to be taller, thinner, smarter, more outgoing. But here’s the kicker - you were fearfully and wonderfully made, knit together by God in your mother’s womb. No matter what your circumstances, you were designed for a beautiful purpose. Pray and obey God’s call on your life to not only live, but to live life to the full.
Dear friends, will you take these to heart today? Write them down or print them out – tape them to your bathroom mirror as a reminder. Ask God how you can take these steps to be the best version of you – the person He created you to be.
About blogger Lori Clapper:
Ever since the early days of toting around her Fisher Price tape recorder, interviewing her younger brothers about the latest playground news -- Lori knew media was her passion. She dedicated most of her career entertaining thousands of fans as a radio morning show hostess at Christian radio stations in Erie, PA and Fayetteville, NC. In 2008, Lori decided it was time to hang up the headphones and about time to start getting some sleep. (Those 3 AM wake-up calls are killer, especially when you don’t like coffee!) She has spent five years as a website editor in the pharmaceutical industry and as the PR Director for a high-tech marketing firm, and is now doing freelance business writing.
Most importantly, Lori has been married to Greg for 19 years and is a mom to three kids and two dogs. She loves watching makeover shows and Hallmark movies, as well as blogging, shopping, acting, singing (mostly in the car or shower), as well as spending time with family and friends.