It used to be that when a couple got married, the phrase in their vows had something to do with "'Till death do us part!" Now it seems like they promised to stay married "until kids do us part!" It is downright scary as John Rosemond points out (child psychologist and author of many wonderful books on parenting.) A big part of the problem seems to be the focus of the family. Contemporary moms and dads have become so focused on their children and their children's activities, grades, events, relationships and other issues that they give little time and energy to the marital relationship. Where that union was the central relationship of the family in "days gone by", it seems to have been upstaged by the parent/child relationships in families these days. Parents spend a disproportionate amount of time in their roles as mommy and daddy, and too little time in their roles as husband and wife!
We are all running ragged. We go from one thing to another in an attempt to be great parents to our children. We take them to school, and after school we take them to their practices and rehearsals and lessons and get-togethers. During school, if we don't work outside the home, we moms are focused on their well-being: keeping them eating healthy foods, playing educational games, socializing so they learn how to get along well with others and, expressing themselves creatively in all sorts of venues...the list never ends.
And believe me, I was included in the ranks of moms who thought we had to do everything with and for our children! We were told that that was what "good" moms do! Then we realized that in all that time and with all that effort focused on our children, our marriages started to fall apart. It's no wonder, really! When you think about it...how can relationships flourish when there is no emotional, physical or psychological energy being spent on them?
It's a great concern. Spare moments are swallowed up on the internet catching up with friends. What we need to do is re-instill date nights into our marital relationships that will put the focus back on the one relationship that will be a true gift to the entire family: a strong marriage! It is one failproof way to be sure that your kids are secure: make your home a peaceful haven where mom and dad spend time with each other and show the children that this is one relationship that is intact in this crazy world we all live in.