Tears for You, for Show!

Oh yeah, when you call home five minutes after leaving your baby crying hysterically in the arms of your babysitter, reaching out for you with wails that sound a great deal like "Mommeeeee!", she'll tell you that all is well and things settled down the second you pulled out of the driveway! Don't feel badly.  You're not the first parent to get schnookered into believing that a night out for you was the end of the world for them!

There will come a time when your heart gets torn out every time you have to leave your little one because of the show they put on when you try to go out the door. However, believe me when I say that it is without a doubt, mostly for show.  Yes, there is separation anxiety for both of you when you first start leaving them with babysitters or family members, but the more you do it, the easier it will be for both of you. Quite honestly, it's also healthy for them to get accustomed to being left with babysitters and other caregivers, like grandmas, aunts or nieces. They become socialized to new people and new situations and it is a growing experience.

I've known young mothers who never get comfortable with leaving their children with anyone else.  That becomes a difficult proposition as the kids get older because they never learn to adapt to changes that allow them to be flexible and trusting of other people. They get wary of differences in their caregiving situation and it becomes a struggle to ever have time to yourself, apart from your children. That is not a healthy situation for either of you.

Moms need time away from the kids to do things for themselves! It's called "Mommy Time" and it gives you a breath of fresh air, a feeling of freedom and a cause for celebration because you are able to be refreshed in ways that allow you to be a better mom when you get back to the homefront!It is not good to deny yourself those opportunities. You need them and your children do as well. They need to understand that Mommy has a life and interests, hobbies and a job to do that are worthwhile. Furthermore, as much as you are there for them, to supply their needs and protect them and do all the things you do for them, they need to learn that they are not the center of the universe, as they mistakenly believed when they were infants. Of course, we helped them believe that since they were the center of our universe!

The sooner Junior gets accustomed to being with other people, and I don't mean only family members, the sooner you will enjoy the benefits of rejuvenation from time to time for yourself. I can't stress enough that it will profit everyone when you take that time. So go ahead, and let the show go on for your benefit. Understand that, more than likely, it will not last past the time you drive down the street. If your babysitter is a good one, they will have your little one distracted and on to other activities to take their mind off of your departure in no time.

So, don't fret and worry about them. Don't spend your time alone, carrying the burden of worry for your little one(s).  Know they are fine and take advantage of the opportunity to do something for yourself, for a change!

You'll be glad you did, and so will your child(ren)!