Doesn't it make sense that if all we are to our children are servants who buy their food and make their meals, do their laundry, clean their rooms, clear and wash their dishes, make their beds, do their homework with them (God forbid: for them) and drive them everywhere as their personal chauffeurs...they will always see us as their maids. How will they learn that their moms are leaders and teachers and women of value and integrity who have vital, vibrant lives of their own that are caring and giving and worthy of respect? They need to know that we have a life too!
We will spend a season as attendants, there is no way around that. Our children, as infants, need us to serve them, to jump at their beckon call and to meet their needs for food, shelter, protection and comforting love. But as the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:1 ~ "There is a time for everything...and a season for every activity of heaven." As John Rosemond, world renowned child psychologist, advises: moms need to remember to move away from that season of servanthood and into the season of leadership and authority. It is for every- one's benefit~ not just the children's. When we as moms, give ourselves permission to take time for ourselves, we become happier, healthier women with much more love, patience and energy to give to our family after our break. It is not a luxury...it is a necessity.
I made the mistake of putting just about everything on the back burner as I was raising my three boys. Now as an empty nester, I am realizing what a toll that took on me and my family. Now I am discovering the joys of acrylic painting, composing music, writing books and playing the piano again. I did a little of this as our boys were growing up, but it seemed that everything, for the most part, got shelved for another day when our lives got too hectic...and sometimes that other day never came.
This past January marked my second anniversary of taking art lessons. I found a fabulous artist right in my neighborhood who teaches acrylics. She is a beautiful, genuine, down-to-earth, talented woman and my art class is one of the highlights of my week. Two hours to focus on nothing but my painting ~ JOY! Let me tell you, it does wonders. The painting of the wood duck (top of blog / featured image) is one of my favorites! If only I had found two hours a week as I was raising my sons, what a different person I would be now, and what a better mom I would have been back then. It gives me joy, a breath of fresh air and a feeling of accomplishment apart from my children. I know it is a healthy undertaking. We can't depend on our children to give us our sense of self-worth. You don't want to hear your kids say: "Mom, get a life!"
Whether it is walking, getting together with friends, learning a new computer skill, trying your hand at piano lessons, singing in a choral group, taking a cooking class or a foreign language...whatever floats your boat (as they say) ~ "take two!" ~two hours for yourself, at least, each week. It will bring balance to your life and allow you to enjoy your time with your family from a new, refreshed, and rejuvenated place. Your perspective will change and so will you! Try it...you'll like it! Give yourself permission!